Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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