I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
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I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize