I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
