It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
