I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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