its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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