Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
