Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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