Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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