Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
