i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm too high and old for this...
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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