okay pat passed out under dana's car
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
