Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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