"it" just moved
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
