just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
he was CRYING into my vagina
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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