im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
