She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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