is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Randomize
