p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
