so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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