That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
