I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
