and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
