hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Randomize
