I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
