i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
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