May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
a search helicopter?!
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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