she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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