Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
