I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
