The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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