I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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