no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
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Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
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Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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