Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
