Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
