it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize