I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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