bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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