After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I cannot find my penis.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
