just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
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Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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