i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
