Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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