I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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