you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize