wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
