I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
