It's Friday. Sex?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
