i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
