you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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