i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
