Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
the day after is always just damage control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize