i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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