Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
