plz talk dirty to me
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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