Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
