if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
