You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
