who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
