Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
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