the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
